The Army Wife
Author Unknown

The Army Wife never knows where she’s at,
Her home is wherever HE hangs up his hat.
She moves every two years to new sets of quarters,
During said time she births sons and daughters.
She packs to go to the plains of Nebraska –
Orders are changed – they fly to Alaska.
Her house is a hut with no room for expansion,
Next time maybe a tent or perhaps a big mansion.
She wrangles sawhorses to make themselves beds,
Make curtains of target cloth, last used for spreads.
And during each move, now isn’t it strange,
The kids get the mumps; the dog gets the mange!
She barely is settled when she must get dressed real pretty,
Got to a party, be charming and witty.
On all kinds of subjects she has to discourse,
Besides swim, ski and golf, ride any troop horse,
Learn songs and traditions of the Kaydet Corps,
Memorize the details of how HE won the war.
He insists on economy, questions every check stub,
Yet her home must be run like a hotel or club.
For she entertains at all hours – both early and late,
Any number of guests, be it eighty or eight.
The first of the month there’s plenty of cash,
She serves turkey and ham – the last week its hash.
She juggles the budget for tropical worsted,
Though the seams of her outfit have long since busted.
Then just when she gets those payments arranged,
“The blouse is no good!” – Regulations have changed.
At an age to retire he’s hale and hearty,
Fit as a fiddle, the life of the party.
While she’s old and haggard, cranky and nervous,
Really a wreck after his years of service.
But through everything, when all’s said and done,
She still will insist that Army life’s fun.
She’s loved every minute and why, goodness grief,
She’s been bored half to death with a big merchant chief.
But there’s one fancy medal – all Army men can wear it,
Their wives should be given – the Legion of Merit!